Just another night

‘Just think, it’s one less night to wait’

I’m going through that sucky phase – when your heart is yearning to be independent, to have your own space that you can share with the person you live, but your reasonable, rational side knows that you’re not there yet. You dont have the money, you shouldnt make a big commitment just yet or even acknowledging that you don’t yet have the life skills to make it work. A heap of my friends have recently married or become engaged. Which then makes it even suckier when the inevitable ‘so have you guys thought about moving out/have you been looking at houses/will there be wedding bells anytime soon?’ questions come up.

My Leo is a great guy, funny, intelligent and interested in life, and I know he genuinely loves me. But a wordsmith he is not. Neither am I for the most part. But tonight, when I was lamenting still having to go home to a cold empty bed after 6 years, he said ‘just think, it’s one less night to wait’. I needed to write it down, because it made me tear up. Leo’s words rarely have that effect on me!

Thinking about it later, I got a bit philosophical. Maybe that’s what keeps us all going – every night gone is one day closer to moving in with someone, getting a better job, fulfilling something our heart yearns for. I wish I could go to bed every night thinking of all the things I’ve achieved in the day past. But right now, what’s driving me is the idea that each day is one day closer. And I’m ok with that.