It’s so easy to get caught up in negativity. The world is full of trials and obstacles. But one thing I’ve learnt in the last year is that nothing is as uplifting or important as the friendship of people who love you. Cherish those around you; they’re more valuable than any other treasure this world has to offer.


This post is for a dearly beloved friend of mine. She knows who she is, but sometimes she doesn’t know that she is beautiful.

Not sexy or glamorous or attractive. I mean beautiful. In her soul.

I first met this young woman in science class at high school. I had come fresh out of Catholic primary school, where I had become accustomed to being different from other children, and I had prepared myself for several more years of the same. But this young woman made me laugh. She cracked jokes, she talked to me, she liked me for who I was.

She shared her chips with me at lunchtime.

She watched the magpies with me.

We were in special maths class together.

Even when I moved away to the other side of the world, and we gradually grew up, I still felt like this young woman was a beautiful person in…

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Climbing out of one hole to trip and fall into the next.

Climbing out of one hole to trip and fall into the next.

This link. 

How is it even possible that I could be hit with this so fast.  Fuck celebrating my degree.  Who gives a toss, I don’t believe it will mean my life from here on will be better off.  I thought I’d feel free.  I just feel useless.

The rest of my life

The night before my final exam of my degree. I feel as wound up as a kid the night before Christmas. I feel like everything’s going to be different at this time tomorrow.

I resent so much that having this crappy illness has reduced what I’ve achieved while being at uni. I actually enjoyed studying this semester, and I’m not sure if that’s a result of the drugs working or just because I knew this was my last semester. I wonder whether I might have gone down another path had I been well, whether I could have gone on to achieve more. But mostly I’m scared that it will push me into having to make choices that are less than ideal.

Anyway. Onwards and upwards, I hope.